are bachelorettes just doing it for the gram?

Wedding season is in full swing, and in honor of the thousands of social media posts flooding your feed, we’ve decided to talk about the bachelorette party industry. Yes, that’s right: the industry. A $650 million dollar industry that is continuing to grow as bachelorette trips get ever more elaborate, Instagrammable, and envy-invoking.

Extravagant bachelorette parties have become the new norm. Just look at Lauren Sanchez’s star-studded Paris bachelorette (or chalk that up to marrying one of the wealthiest people in the world). You know the look: the bride and her bridesmaids positioned perfectly with bubbly wine and adorable coordinated outfits, partying it up on a boat Mamma Mia style or hitting the town with temporary tattoos of the groom’s face (editor’s note: or, if you’re me on my friend’s recent bachelorette trip, a nearly life-size blowup with his face printed on it – a real crowd pleaser).

What seems like a rite of passage for brides is actually a pretty new phenomenon. Over the past couple of decades, bachelorette parties have grown more elaborate. Hometown gatherings are less common, or, if they happen, they come with custom favors, coordinated outfits, and full itineraries. A far cry from my mom’s low-key party in Orlando, just a half-hour from where she lived in Kissimmee, FL.

As dreamy as a getaway to Tulum might be, the financial pressure is real. The average bachelorette spends $1,300 on the long weekend, and 1 out of 10 people pay more than $3,000 for bachelorette duties. Most people in their 20s are just starting their careers, figuring life out, and learning to be comfortable in their own skin as adults. On top of all the change, paying that much for a bachelorette party can be overwhelming. And it’s more than just financial pressure: the bachelorette party attendance can sometimes feel like a test of friendship. And when you can’t make the party, it feels like you’ve let the bride down.

So what’s it all for then? Are people really just doing this for the curated photos? I don’t think so. I think more people are beginning to understand the true purpose of bachelorette parties: togetherness. The way I see it, weddings are the only time that you can ask everyone you love dearly in your life to be together, and so it’s a celebration of love all around.

If you’re a bridesmaid nervous about affording your bestie’s Nashville extravaganza, know you’re not alone – it’s totally normal to be anxious about such a big expense, and that doesn’t diminish how excited you are for your friend.

And to all the brides (congrats! 😊)… whatever way you do (or don’t do) for your bachelorette party, I hope you soak it in with people you love and create memories that will last long past the wedding day.

As Always, K